Anne Has Her Day

Anne Hathaway awoke to find that Will
had crept out from his bed so he could write
a sonnet penned by feeble candlelight;
Which caused her to exclaim both loud and shrill

"Why is it that you will not write a play
instead of wasting everybody's time
with reams of paper squandered on your rhyme.
The rent is due and we've got bills to pay."

Poor William peered above his reading specs;
His shoulders shrugging ruefully, he said
"Prithee beloved, Hie thee back to bed
I really haven't got the time for sex.

I have to reinforce the English norm
Ed Spenser has been fiddling with the form"

Sonnet Fever

Once Sonnet Fever takes you to her bed
your every thought becomes expressed in rhyme.
You're in her grasp and cannot break the thread
which binds you to a mellow metered time

No more the hard insistence of I am;
No arrogance nor mad machismo roar.
Instead the soft persistence of iamb
like gentle wavelets lapping at the shore.

Surrender then and fall to her embrace.
Relax and let her soothe your fevered brow;
Accept your fate with dignity and grace,
a willing slave bound fast to till her plough

This gentle mistress lays on you her curse.
You'll nevermore like writing I Free Verse.

A Lesson in Sonnetry

If anyone should feel inclined to try
to write a sonnet, I will understand 
that first you may feel diffident and shy.
Pick up your pen and let me guide your hand.

Imagine first, you want to sing a song.
Iambic meter helps you keep in time.
Your notes must match the music. Teach your tongue
these lyrics. Oh! And don’t forget to rhyme.

Emotion rules in this poetic form.
Despair and Joy. The essence of a tear 
display a tone much higher than the norm.
The flagship of all poetry is here.

So if you feel you want to take a chance, 
take your position. Ready? Shall we dance?

Drinkin' With the Good Ol' Boys

I walked into a dusty old saloon
and sauntered very slowly to the bar.
An old guy played a honky-tonky tune
while through a broken window shone a star
I guess I must have looked a simple fool
for someone said the drinks were all for free
Then when the barman brought around the bill
it very quickly found its way to me.
But when they asked me "What's your pleasure feller
I swiftly said "I'll have a saspariller"

The company backed off in deep dismay,
almost as though they thought I'd do them harm,
and in a corner, I heard someone say
This guy's escaped from off the funny farm.

To which I answered, "Seeing how I've paid,
the rest of you are drinking lemonade."

Sonnet Anthem

A sonnet is supposed to be a song 
Petrarchan, Shakespeare, Spencer, take your choice.
No matter what it's purpose or the tongue 
the music there must make your heart rejoice.

Though coalitions enter in the fray 
and purists sit and blindly count away
 Each metered foot in manner so meticulous; 
then edit all until it sounds ridiculous
Remember. Be not tethered by the heel 
in soulless repetition like a wheel
 Present your banner to the waiting world 
with joy and love for all to see unfurled.
Now! Open up and make the rafters ring.
 Lift up your hearts and sing, my children. Sing!

Free Speech

I'd really like to sit and write a sonnet
where I could let my poem wax romantic;
But I have got this bee with in my bonnet.
I find my mind inclined to the pedantic.

Oh for a heart that pours out my devotion
portrayed upon the paper by my pen.
My soul alas is lacking in emotion,
I find I'm counting syllables again.

I'll throw away my abacus one day.
Forget about the order of my verse.
My inhibitions will be tossed away
and I will shed this melancholy curse.

I'll never stop to count up my iamb
I'll shout up to the Heavens who I am.