It was no easy task, trying to convert my jumbled house into one of cleanliness, order and beauty for our Open House on Saturday, July 21, 2007, but labors of love are always enjoyable. Everything seemed to fall into place, but not without several snags, hurdles and transformations, some of which I will relate.

Deciding that it was time to launder the curtains, I threw them in the wash. When I pulled them from the drier, they were all in shreds. The next day, I went to Sears. Just as I reached the linen department, a loud speaker went off saying that the store was closing in ten minutes.

The next day, at Bed, Bath and Beyond, I found just the right color, texture and length, or so I thought. It was only when I tried hanging them that I found they were too short. My measurements were made after the old ones had shrunk in the drier. After calling the store, Nellie, in the linen department, said, "Don't worry, we have plenty in the next length. I asked, "Are you sure they are Stylemaster, Linen Sheer, Tailored Panel in 55" X 84"? "Yes maam", she answered, in a pleasing, authoritative tone. Down I rushed to B B & B, to make the exchange, only to find that they had only one set in the type and length needed, but I needed five sets. By now, I was losing my cool and felt like Medusa with snakes writhing from her scalp! "Who did you speak to in Customer Service?" a starchy little lady behind the counter asked. "Nellie." "Oh, Nellie doesn't work here any more" was the reply. "But don't worry, we have checked with our other store over in Northridge and they have plenty there... just the right style, size, length and everything. We can even have them sent to you direct." After discovering it would take seven to ten working days for delivery, I said with mounting impatience, "I need them today for a party tomorrow!" Well, Northridge wasn't as far as I had thought and with hand-written directions from the manager I was assured that I could get there in thirty minutes by freeway and there wouldn't be any snags. Curtains with no snags, I thought, just what I've been dreaming of, so off I dashed out to Northridge in the heat of traffic, made the exchange and raced home to put them up. It was at 4:00 a.m. in the morning, as I stood tottering from a step ladder, that I realized it was time to quit and go to bed. I would finish this task tomorrow.

Shortly after I got to sleep, (7:00 a.m. to be exact), Alfonso, my handyman, was ringing the buzzer. He had come early to fix the leaky faucet in the bathroom...something I had told him needed his immediate attention. After the job was done, with blearly eyes, I prevailed upon him to finish hanging the curtains and in a matter of minutes, they were up. As the morning sun came filtering through with its golden glow, everything seemed, suddenly, to be all right.

Two days prior, my friend Amy, had come to install tiny white lights on four of my windows, so they would appear like a sea of glittering stars. They looked beautiful through the new, fresh curtains, a good backdrop for our imaginary "Voyage Into the Cosmos" and Pleiades presentations. The only snag in this was that we forgot to turn the lights on!

When Tom, Arturo and I sat down to draw up a guest list, I was shocked to find I had opened up my home to fifty-eight people and the number was growing! I decided that since the weather was nice, I would clean and open up the two outdoor patios to accomodate the overflow.

After pulling out some dusty old chairs from the greenhouse and some down from the hill, there would be enough comfortable seating for another twelve or more. Ninety-one feet of astro turf installed would help the garden look cool and fresh and Home Depot had just the right thing. After a lot of strong-arm dirty work, the outer garden began shaping up. Just a few days before the party, it was discovered that the outdoors garden area around the house was plagued by ants. Spraying did no good - they wouldn't go away! Since this would not be conducive to outdor eating, I called my rat man, John, who made a special trip up with a product called Termadore. He assured me that in a few days I would be rid of them completely, that they would eat and carry the poison back to their nests. What can you say about killing rats and ants, whose life is as precious to them as ours is to us? I prayed to the ant and rat gods to forgive me, as there was no time to take a chance on their obeying an order to leave, as some have been known to do. After all this, no one got outside, so the ants and rats could have been left alone, poor dears. The only problem was that because of some last minute cancellations, we didn't need the patio areas and no one went out, even for a smoke, except Robin, the maid and her valet daughter, Shaka. Fortunately, the space indoors was adequate for the number of people who attended. While full, the house was not buldging at the seams, thanks to Tom and Arturo, who helped rearrange the chairs.

Here's another snag where preparations and executions didn't meld: Mark, the piano tuner, came to tune and service my player piano. I decided to have the player part of the piano rewired, as some of the wires were found to be old and cracked. This cost big bucks, but, I thought, how wonderful to be able to have it safely working again up to speed. Now, we could have some fun rag-time pieces and other favorites from the 1900's on to enjoy listening to...maybe even have a sing-along, prior to the performance while the guests were eating. I spent several hours going through the stack of "oldies but goodies" laying aside the best. However, during the party, I was so busy, dressing and undressing, checking on the potluck or chatting with friends, that I completely forgot about the player. Maybe there will be another time when the piano will have a turn to present its talents.

One last snag might be mentioned. My acupuncturist, Wing, was supposed to pass around the guest book for everyone to sign, but in my haste, I forgot to give it to her and she had to leave early for a client. No matter, I will go over my guest list and write in the names myself!

Transforming myself into a Ying and Yang, (from a Gorgon Monster, Medusa, to The Lady of the Cosmos,) was like having a duel within, where many challenges must be met, each for a specific purpose. The true natures of The Monster and The Lady emerged under the direction of Arturo Ruiz, who studied under the famous method acting teacher and theatre director, Lee Strasberg, in the late 1970's. With Arturo's patient and expert direction on voice projection, facial expressions, poise and movement, he made The Monster and The Lady come alive. Digging into my closet for the appropriate costumes, wigs and jewelry and into the medicine cabinet for cosmetics, helped bring out the finer points of these two characters. Tom's beautiful background music for the Cosmos rendition, gave it color and magic. During a dress rehearsal, when the sinister Medusa looked into the mirror, even she was scared.


Following, is a short poem I just wrote. It capsulizes a lesson I have learned over the past few weeks:


In Retrospect
by Mary L. Ports



I never would have known how mightily important every second in a minute might be.
I never would have guessed that all the strain and stress was just a little test for me.

Copyright © 2007 Mary L. Ports